My darling darling Mandy,😉
I know I said I was going to write you a second epistle. I am so sorry it’s coming this late. Things have been quite crazy here.
You know I told you to smell the roses right? I have tried hard to do the same, but it’s just been so tough!😫😫😫 It’s my birthday in a few days, and you know those “what have you done with your life? What significant thing have you done this year?” Questions? They have been on my mind almost all week. 😓
Today was even bad. My baby sis called telling me about something I truly am supposed to be doing if I had my own source of income. Feeling terrible, I decided some eating will ease my frustration and unhappiness. ( I know I know… Chewing gum and praying did not “werk” at all this time! I had an apple. (Good start right?! Wait for it…) Then had some Ritz crackers, then had some bulgur wheat jollof, then had some skinny popcorn, then had some banana, then had some… Choi! The list hasn’t even finished sef!🙈🙈🙈)
At some point, I kept trying to figure out one thing, one single thing that I had accomplished this year! One thing o, and I was combing my brain with a fine tooth comb.🙄 In that instant, I heard my son cry! It felt like he was saying “Mama! Can’t you see me???” That’s when it hit me! Baby X!!!! How could I have forgotten such a huge gift so easily?! He came to us as such a pleasant surprise, just when I needed one. ( As I type this now, I cover my eyes in shame!) This time last year, I was having a rough pregnancy. At the same time, I knew we were leaving the country we were at the time. On top of that, little madam was almost constantly Ill! We were frequent visitors to the Emergency Room. Whew!😅
After Baby X gave me his “notice me” sign, I paused, and simply looked around me. We are in our own space, all our needs are being met by our Heavenly Father, little madam is healthy, very healthy and super smart too (now I complain she is too active and talks too much! Human beingssss! Ha!), Baby X is here, thriving, and melting my heart with that toothless, sloppy grin of his! In all honesty, I will be an ingrate to complain. You know my “blessing counting” exercise changed my mood? 😀 I had a nice spring to my steps, I took time to answer all little madam’s questions, even decided to cook dinner with her! You should have seen the smile on her face! She was so excited! I let her put her own twist to banana pancakes, and boy did she deliver! They were so yummy, but what was yummier was the joy she had while we cooked! When I flipped the first pancake, she said “Wow! Mama, I am so proud of you! That was such a good job!”😂😂😂
Today, I have decided to be more deliberate. I’ve decided to enjoy as many moments with little madam and baby X, as possible. I will carefully answer questions, listen actively, and keep building fun memories. I have decided to ease up on searching for “purpose”. I have decided to find purpose where I am at this time. This time will count for something. I won’t let it pass me by because I am doing “long throat” (eagerly anticipating) for something else.😎
I will be happy NOW, and watch God take the years that seemed wasted, and give them purpose. I will watch on, as he somehow makes the lost years not lost. I will watch on as he takes the worries of the past years, and gives me peace, and a new meaning to life!
Mandy Mandy, today, I chose gratitude. Today, I choose joy; God’s joy! 💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻Just like Kirk franklin’s song says, I look better when I smile!😆😆😀😀😀 Babe, let me show you my “32”! 😬😄😃😝❤️😘
your very own Mrs.X